Thanks very much to all for your suggestions of what a Spanking On the Beach cocktail would be like. Several of you went with a red motif, which is quite understandable.
However, we will start off with PA’s NOT suggestion, because it in no way involves Diet Coke. It’s called the Spanking On the Beach wine spritzer.
Ingredients: Woodbridge chardonnay, club soda, grenadine syrup
In a tall glass filled with cracked ice, pour six ounces wine, top with club soda. Add grenadine syrup. Stir.
You want a color similar to the one you plan her bottom to be, especially if she is still grousing about not getting any DC.
Janie went for red, as well, and built her quaff around a luscious liqueur. And, being English, she decided that gin and citrus ought to be in it. So here is Jane Ellen’s Cherry Heering Spanking On the Beach.
Ingredients: Heering Cherry Liqueur, Gordon’s London Dry Gin (the real 007’s preference), orange juice
In a mixing glass full of ice, add three ounces Cherry Liqueur, one ounce Gin, three ounces fresh squeezed orange juice. Cap and shake – do not stir. Strain into large, well chilled martini glass. Serve with cherry on top. I will take care of coloring her bottom.
Audrey went a slightly different direction, while still keeping very much to the theme. Spanking being the English vice and gin being the national drink (if one is out of beer) she went with that as her base. Pink grapefruit juice is sweet, though not cherry sweet, and I know for a fact it mixes well with gin.
Ingredients: Gordon’s gin and red grapefruit juice.
In a tall glass full of ice, pour two fingers of gin, top with juice. Stir. Garnish with a sprig of fresh rosemary. (Rosemary birch rod optional, but I’d love to try one out. I bet it not only stings well, but smells good.)
Ellie’s contribution sounds quite wonderful, indeed, with peaches, cream, and strawberries as its theme. Since I’m not sure I can find any cane stirrers, Ellie, I’ll just whip this into a frappe.
Ingredients: Peach schnapps, strawberry vodka, peach nectar, heavy cream
In a blender, combine two ounces schnapps, two ounces vodka, two ounces peach nectar, two ounces cream. Mix well. Add a heaping cup of crushed ice and blend on high until frothy. Serve with fresh strawberry and peach slice. Mmmm — smooth and pink as Ellie’s freshly spanked bottom, if not nearly as warm.
And with a preference for the quite red and quite hot Spanking On the Beach cocktail, here is my interpretation of Gary’s Bloody Mary.
Ingredients: Stoli Jalapeño vodka, Smirnoff Lime vodka, tomato juice, Cajun hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce
To large glass full of ice, add two ounces Jalapeño vodka, one ounce Lime vodka, two drops hot sauce, dash Worcestershire. Stir. Fill with tomato juice. Garnish with lime slice.
Don’t wait till you get to the beach to try this, Gary. Susan needs the attention now.
Okay, and now for my contribution. This is the only recipe I actually tried, although I would so love to go shopping for all the cool liquor and stuff I found and make them all.
This Spanking On the Beach is more reminiscent of a night by the Gulf, the blue sea with a full moon overhead, and a bare moon stretched across my lap …
Ingredients: Blue Curacao, Smirnoff Peppermint vodka (or substitute half vodka, half peppermint schnapps, but this was left over from Christmas)
In a mixing glass full of ice, combine two ounces Blue Curacao and two ounces vodka. Stir well to chill, strain into large, chilled martini glass. Garnish with lime slice.
Then, after you’ve quaffed and spanked to everyone’s satisfaction, head back to the beach house and get out the aloe and arnica. Somebody’s bottom is going to need it.
Happy summer, everyone!
That is all.
Devlin out.read more