Absinthe As Analgesic For A Sore Bottom?
Sep 12, 2011 by Devlin O' Neill
In general I don’t recommend alcohol as a pain reliever, but this ad for a Czech herbal liqueur caught my eye.
Obviously the girl got herself into a whole lot of trouble, and must have found no ice or frozen peas in the freezer to soothe her rosened bum afterwards.
Fortunately Becherovka is preferred icy cold so there it was, next to the empty ice cube trays, and I have no problem with topical application to soothe those all too well stimulated nerve endings.
Bet she feels better already.
A good reason for all of us to keep a bottle of something in the freezer, I guess
If it’s water, then don’t fill the bottle more than two-thirds full. Somehow I don’t think that’s what you meant, Em.
Nearly frozen gin pours almost like motor oil. Just thought I’d mention.
No, not water, Dev. I learned my lesson, getting scolded for not drinking the other night. Only alcohol for this girl from now on
Whatever works. Though that bottle looks very icy, could have A Christmas Story type moment where it sticks to her bottom. Ouch.
Em, you did not get scolded for not drinking alcohol the other night. *sigh* (why do we not have a “sigh” emoticon?) In any case, you can keep frozen peas in the freezer, and you will be quite all right. Because I said so, that’s why.
Lea, it’s an interesting thought, but in almost all cases, cold therapy is applied when the subject has been removed to a warmer environment so that there is no chance of skin freeze up.
Just speaking therapeutically you understand. If you have a screenplay in the works, don’t let me get in the way.
I do recall your not being agreeable to any of the drinks offered, but that is not the same as being scolded for refusal, young lady.
In any case I am off to bed. I hope everyone else is headed that way as well, time zones permitting of course.
Em, you know you are in my time zone. Goodnight.
Why do I have this feeling the cure could be almost as painful as the cause?
A word of advice, don’t leave champagne in the freezer by accident, voice of bitter experience speaking.
Dev, good morning.
I remember sticking my bottom in the fridge after a spanking, when I was about six, the matron was not pleased.
I discovered Absinthe about twelve years after, believe me it is an excellent analgesic, after two or three small glasses I was feeling no pain, whatsoever.
I can’t speak for the young lady, I hope that it worked.
Warm
Paul.
dd, the numbing effect sets in fairly quickly, though it might be a bit of a shock at first. And yes, liquid should be at least 30% alcohol (60 proof) to be kept in the freezer compartment, without unfortunate bursting effects that is.
Paul, sounds like you were a clever and discerning lad, matron notwithstanding. I would like to try absinthe but I’ve never looked for it in the store. I’m not sure it’s even sold here, but I should check.
I think there’s a new version of absinthe available that isn’t considered poisonous. At least that’s what I heard, but I’m not sure the thrill of drinking it is the same. As to the thrill of holding an icy bottle on your bottom, it has its appeal, for a certain kind of girl.
I’ll have to look into this synthetic absinthe, and since I never had the real thing I won’t know the difference. But you’re no doubt right about its effect, or lack thereof. My understanding is that there’s an alkaloid similar to the ones in peyote mushrooms contained in the wormwood that’s a key ingredient of absinthe, hence the green pixie hallucinations associated with the drink.
Credit Polly with the green pixie factoid, and the fairy picture as well.
Oh and Scarlet, I reckon you’re that certain kind of girl, though of course you are far from the only one in this neighborhood.
I thought I remembered and this site confirms that the bad reputation and banning of absinthe was due to scandalous rumors and excuses for alcohol dementia. It appears what has happened is certain fans have worked to rehabilitate absinthe’s reputation and return it to the repertoire of the discriminating drinker.
As for this new way of warming your absinthe, it would be interesting to conduct tests to see if the gentle heat of a freshely spanked bottom released more satisfying volatiles.
There is nothing wrong with exercising a discerning and discriminating palate, Dev.
Scarlet, tell us more… do you know this from experience? About the cold bottle, I mean. Is there a particular type of alcohol… er… bottle… that works best?
That sounds logical.
I volunteer kaki, Scarlet, dd, Lea, Alice and Em to start testing this out when kaki returns 
. It couldn’t hurt. I on the other hand am allergic to absinthe and cannot be a tester 
. I will observe and compile the statistics. 
Thanks very much, Nik! Fascinating article. Of course that probably means that whatever we have in the States that’s supposed to be an absinthe substitute is complete garbage.
But it might take a while to warm the bottle that way. Not that we’re in a hurry, of course.
And naturally one should be discerning at all times, Em, especially as pertains to bum chilling.
Bree!
I must regretfully decline the position of tester, I’m afraid my schedule is very busy and I simply cannot fit another thing in. But don’t worry about having to sit out, Bree. You can be the control subject, with only water in your bottle. Allergy problems solved 
How lovely! I decree that we turn the blite into a French cafe right away, and all start sipping on green absinthe. I would like to have the little green fairy sit by me, please.
In the article that Nik shared there was something that supposedly was a bad thing called Twilight Consciousness. I beg to disagree. I think Twilight Consciousness shows a gentle and serene nature, and should be encouraged. This is what I am going to call Happy Hour from now on.
Regarding the testing of absinthe vs water bottles to cool girls’ bottoms, I have promised to look after our guest, The Green Fairy, so I must be excused from the testing. I think we’ll have plenty of subjects without me, though!
I see that Bree is learning to drive the bus.
I would like to respectfully suggest that these tests would not be intereresting at all. They would be tedious and time consuming, and we would need to be absolutely certain there were no health risks to the consumer. I would hate you to be so affected that you forgot why you were spanking.
….on second thoughts, have some more absinthe, Dev and Nik.
I’m not in France, Scarlet, but a woman at the table next to mine was just served a platter called “French Cafe.” It looked delightful. Shall we head to Paris?
Everyone will be in on the testing, girls. We need quite a large sampling so that our statistical conclusions are sound. Scarlet, the Green Fairy looks capable of taking care of herself if need be. After the tests we’ll all go to France.
I’m so pleased to see you agree to sacrifice yourself in the name of science, Dev. If we’re going to have a statistically relevant sample we’ll need some other tops to agree to switch sides for a bit… Nik, will you be joining Dev?
He did say everyone will need to be tested
Everyone TESTABLE will be tested, Em, and along with EVERYONE I also said GIRLS. And don’t be a smart aleck, missy.
You seem a bit testy, Dev. In order to be testy you must be testable…
Well he wouldn’t want to be detestable would he?
The test conductors can scarcely be test subjects, Em and Alice. That would be unethical, which is worse than being smart alecky, which both of you still are being. :waits:
Perhaps the women from your music video will be available to be test conductors? Then you’ll have no conflict. Don’t worry, we’ll sort it out.
This comment thread is truly a testament to our devoted care of Tops here. We would never leave anyone out, no sirree bob. Or bree.
I’ll hold the camera and record the whole proceedings. Hmm, maybe we can make our own music video while conducting the experiment.
Does Dev sing when he’s.. uhmm.. tested, do you think?
Here’s our theme song for this test-osterone based event! For Dev and Nik and all the girls on the blite. (Dev and Nik make guest appearances–no, really!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN62PAKoBfE
Forget the testing, girls – you ALL are in need of a serious sorting out after this afternoon’s naughtiness. There may or may not be chilly bottles for afters.
Scarlet, as a reward for your contribution (EGAD AND YIKES!) you may go first over my lap. I mean REALLY!
Was that the Spanish version of Dev and Nik sing that son?
UGH! I meant to say… Was that the Spanish version of Dev and Nik singing that song?
I can’t be the control subject
I am the statistician 
….and I hate water. This isn’t going to take place until kaki comes back anyway Em. I am sure we can fit you in somewhere 
. If not, Dev and/or Nik can make house calls 
.
As for driving a bus
, I am just filling in for kaki while she is away. 
Double
:rollonfloor:
Must watch that again!
Great clip, Scarlet!
Scarlet,
:rose:
and warm 
what a wonderful clip, made my morning.
Paul.
Okay, Dev, just to make it up to you: PARTY AT DEV’S PLACE! EVERYONE’S INVITED!
(Sorry about all the spanish, but there’s something about the language and the beat that makes dancing inevitable!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFzyYYZsxGc
Who doesn’t love Florida?
Throwing a party at my place doesn’t exactly make it up to me – well, not in the least in fact. :waits:
However, this video is a bit better than the last one. Okay, streets better, but I had to laugh at their revival of that 50s hand-jive business. The language is no barrier, since I’m sure the song still makes very little sense when you can understand the words.
Scarlet, you’ve invited us all over to Dev’s place for a party when he spanks you, that’s very generous of you.
I will bring a bottle to put in the freezer for afterwards.
PARTY! WAHOO!
I recognize Scarlet as one of the three girls in the video but who are the other two?….hmmmmm….Hehe
Are they singing about Dev spanking someone in that video? Cause there are a lot of ooohhhhh!! aaaahhhhh!!! heeeyyyyy!!!
eeeehhhhhaaaa!!!! 
Scarlet! Great minds think alike! I watched the second clip first and immediately clipped onto to the next clip. About to copy it, when I realised that was your first one! Will scurry back to search again for another appropriate party tune.
Incidently, never drink anything green. Creme de Menthe was my downfall at sixteen, absinthe is deadly stuff. A Czech nanny (absinthe comes from the former Czechoslovakia), brought us back a bottle as it was still unavailable in the UK. I had one sip and, ugh…. BBH and his friend were made of sterner stuff and drank most of the bottle, to regret it deeply the next few days. Our lovely Czech friend saw the bottle almost empty, thought they had enjoyed it, so bought us another bottle. It now sits forlornly at the back of the cupboard.
Nic, you’re right, many myths about the drink, do you know van Gough was supposed to have cut his ear off because he was a bit OTT on absinthe?
Scarlet, I found it! Dev’s perfect party tune, apologies if it’s been done before…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZAtzcthSxM
Is Dev the one in the red jacket, or is he cooly watching at the side, a cigarette and beer in hand?
The Twist? Well, okay. Dancing is dancing, right? But just FYI, I quit smoking.
I think Dev is the one coolly watching at the side, no cigarette, no beer.
DEV…DD SPELT COOLLY INCORRECTLY !!!!!
Bree, I don’t call everyone on every spelling mistake – otherwise some days I would do little else. And don’t be such a tattle tale, missy.
Dev, sorry.
I am just filling in for kaki. 
It’s all right, Bree. No harm done.
I am not good at filling in. I think I will stick to what I know from now on, which is getting myself into trouble, apparently.
:noidea: 
:paddle: 
:happy: 