A Shakespearian Something From Mindy
Mindy did this wonderful adaptation and it is so wonderful we want everyone to read it.
Brat’s Version
To sleep, or not to sleep – that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and taunts of extreme naughtiness
Or to take arms against a body of weariness
And by opposing end them. To stay, to play –
Yes, more – and by playing to say we satisfy
The desire, and the thousand naughty thoughts
That flesh is heir to. ‘Tis a dream
Devoutly to be wished. To stay, to play –
To play – perchance have fun: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that missing of bedtime what ouchiness may come
When we have not minded our strict Tops,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes mockery of so dull life.
Top’s Version
To spank, or not to spank – that is the question:
Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of loving discipline
Or to succumb to a chorus of whining
And by yielding end them. To spank, to sort –
Much more – and by a sorting to say we end
The brattiness, and the thousand naughty ideas
That brats are heir to. ‘Tis an outcome
Devoutly to be desired. To spank, to sort –
To sort – perchance inflict pain: ay, there’s the rub,
For in that spanking of bottoms what closeness may come
When we have forgiven brats their wrongdoings,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That gives meaning to TTWD.
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Mindy, this is really wonderful! I love the last line of the brat’s soliloquey: “There’s the respect that makes mockery of so dull life.” I don’t understand the part about the slings and taunts of extreme naughtiness, but I’m going to ask Alice to explain that to me later.
You are so talented!
As I said on the other thread, this is brilliant, Mindy, you are very clever.
Scarlet, I was hoping you or Polly could tell me about the thousand naughty thoughts that flesh is heir to?
Alice, that comes right before the slings and arrows of loving discipline. Sometimes it can set a girl’s hair on fire.
Mindy,
and warm 
this gets better with each reading, as indeed, does Shakespeare.
Paul.
Cute, Scarlet.
That’s what I thought too, Paul.
Mindy, these were wonderful, I like that you gave both versions, as the others said, you are very talented.
I like the idea of Tops “succumb to a chorus of whining”
Scarlet, I think you could write a book on, the slings and taunts of extreme naughtiness
define “extreme.”
Polly, what a coincidence this poem came right after you stayed up past your bedtime, and on purpose.
Charley tells me that I am the type of person that would poke a python with a short stick, I think we are two peas in a pod. then add Scarlet, and Alice and Mindy and dd and ……… 
Thank you, everyone, for the compliments.
What a wonderful surprise to wake up to. Thank you for putting this into a post, Polly. It’s so sweet of you. Sorry to give you last minute work.
Scarlet, it was your comment on the previous thread that got me thinking of Hamlet.
Kaki, I did get some inspiration from someone missing bedtime.
She has been inspiring and should be rewarded, not sorted. Oh, Dev, did you hear that? 
I think my colleagues are going to be wondering why I have this grin on my face all day today!
Oh, no! Dev, please don’t send Polly to bed so early.
Mindy, Polly was naughty last night. Tonight she is sorry about that. This is how it works.
Goodnight, Polly. I love you.
Goodnight, Polly.
Blimey, Dev, just when we thought you couldn’t get any Toppier.
Hi, Mindy, it was well worth making into a post. Not everyone will scroll through all the silly comments to find the odd gem like that.
Mindy, this was fantastic, I’m sure the bard would have loved it, from everything he put poor Kate through I am certain he had a certain Toppy nature.
Too many peas in your pod, Kaki, think I’ll hop out, in enough trouble as it is, over – no prizes – bedtime
Alice, I’m happy to know I still can surprise you. And I’m not entirely sure you should be using that expletive, young lady.
Goodnight, dd. Sounds like there is a lot of toppiness going on in various areas of the globe. As to the Bard, I rather suspect he could write Toppy once in a while, but I don’t think it was his nature. Again, just my opinion.
Lovely post! Very clever, Mindy Sadly, I seem to be late to the party and everyone’s been packed off. However will I survive the last hour of work?
Hi, Judy. The good girls are still here! *looking around* OH! I guess it’s just me!
Oh, well. The naughty girls have all been sent to bed, and it IS very quiet here. Dev, it sounds like you surprised Alice just as she was thinking up some mischief. Good thing you happened along!
You do have a way of popping up when least expected, you know…
I suspect it’s spring fever, Dev, rather as lesser mortals sneeze with the pollen, the Tops respond by getting Toppier! I do still have a bit to go before bedtime, just was in trouble for last night
Probably right about poor William, and Kate was an aberation, after all if Juliet had been spanked she never would have died or Ophelia, if Othello had only been Toppy with Desdemona she would instantly have admitted that she had lost the hanky, Tatania would never have been rude to Oberon (although his punishment was a trifle, quirky Toppy), nope, have to admit you are probably right. After all Lear did allow his daughters to push him around. Although Prospero is a bit mean with Ariel.
Scarlet, some people were outside mowing the lawn for hours not getting into trouble and trying to stay on the good side of the Toppy person at home. It does seem quiet around her too bad all the naughty girls were sent to bed. Just us
Gracious! Look at all the naughty girls around here. Hi, Judy! I seem to be late as well, cooking supper, so I hope you are now done with work and go be good somewhere else.
As if.
No, not picking you, Judy, but it seems a lot of girls here protest too much innocence. Just saying.
Oh, and if I hadn’t said recently, Mindy really is good at this. There’s another one of these gems already scheduled for a couple weeks from now. Polly organized it, without telling me of course. Why would she? I’m only the guy in charge. Hrumph!
Sorry. Carry on being good, girls. I mean it.
Dev, as evidence of my goodness, I have finished work and am typing from the treadmill. I will pause while that bit of information sinks in.
Careful, Judy. Girls who flaunt their angelicyness are fair game to fellow brats round these parts. Just a word to the wise. Enjoy your workout.
Beep beep
Hello, Judy. 
See, Dev, I am being good. The naughty girls are in bed, earlier than normal.
I’m going to have to brush up on my Shakespeare, I can see that now. I’ve never been a tremendous fan of Bill, but only because I’ve never been properly instructed in understanding him. Trying to tackle it on my own always made me give up, sooner rather than later, and choose something easier. Perhaps this is the time to pick up a few things that have the original text on the left and the translation on the right.
But that would leave me so little time for mischief and mayhem. What to do?
No worries – all angelicyness went out the window when I really listened to the lyrics of the songs by Korn I was listening to to keep me going. Mercy! I never heard such language.
Judy, you should probably tell Dev all about the language you heard. I’m sure it would make you feel better. Maybe you should spell out all the bad words in CAPS just to be sure he doesn’t miss any of them.
You probably should stay with what you know.
I read one of those books (Hamlet) and found it much easier to understand.
Yes, I was wondering what words you meant, Judy. Maybe it would be helpful if you posted a link in the comments section with that song,
many of us are not familiar with that group or person. I don’t recall any bad language in John Denver and Barry Manilow songs so if you could share it would be helpful to me. 
We girls stick together. 
Scarlet and Kaki, if you aren’t the sweetest things. Dev, how would it be if I shared the lyric bombs, in all caps yet, here? Kinky as I am, I don’t think that would be smart. But thanks just the same, girls.
Judy, you do catch on quickly. Those buses you saw earlier (thank you, Kaki) are for throwing newbies like you under, so no, you should follow your instincts and refrain from posting naughty words of any sort here.
Scarlet, Kaki, I am sure one day soon the both of you will be hoist on your own petards. (That’s Shakespeare, Scarlet – as you get to know him you’ll find he writes a LOT of clichés.
)
Dev, I looked up petard and this is what I found. Surely you aren’t suggesting that Scarlet and I do that.
The word petard comes from the Middle French peter, to break wind, from pet expulsion of intestinal gas.
I know. That’s amazing about Shakespeare, isn’t it? That he pretended to make up all those words and famous quotes, when we’ve all been using them all along?
Judy, you are welcome but I am disappointed you didn’t trust us as we were just trying to learn what kind of words shocked you. I guess we will never know.
Kaki, a petard is an explosive mine that was used in siege warfare. To be hoist on one’s own petard is to have your own bomb blow up and fling you skyward.
So no, that is not at all what Bill meant, the gas expulsion part, no.
Exactly, Scarlet. Lord, what a fool that Shakespeare be, huh?
Yes, it had that definition too, but you have to admit this one was funnier. And without saying the American or English word ****.
Love me some Shakespeare: “Use every man after his desert, and who should ‘scape whipping?”
dd, meant to say earlier, Prospero was mean to EVERYBODY, and Othello was just a jerk from day one. Romeo ought to have known better, absolutely, but Hamlet really couldn’t tell a hawk from a handsaw, I don’t care what he said, so Ophelia stood no chance. Oberon could have been a bit more imaginative with Titania, but I’m thinking I should rewrite that whole thing anyhow.
I must be off. Parting is such sweet … um. Never mind. Night all.
Kaki, that is NOT funny. Not. Remember that.
Very apt, Judy – but of course Hamlet meant to say girl, not man. I’m absolutely sure of that. Goodnight.
Of course he did, Dev.
Goodnight.
Stands and applauds Mindy! Splendid!
I can only answer, “She should be spanked hereafter. There will be time for such an act tomorrow… and tomorrow… and tomorrow, slaps on that pretty place from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time…”
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I’m glad all of you like this.
Dave, the brats’ reply is “And all you paddles are alight, on their way to dusty death. Gone, gone, spanking implements.”
Polly, you’ll have your normal bedtime tonight. So far, anyway.
And yes, most scholars agree that Lear got exactly what he deserved for trying to eat his cake and have it too. Doesn’t mean you can be saucy about it to your teachers with impunity.
Dave, thanks for the splendid response.
And Mindy – “Cry havoc, and let slip the hands of spank!”
“I could an implement unfurl whose lightest swish would harrow thy soul.”
Yes, I am at work, but this is so much more fun!
Brilliant, Judy – thanks!
Oh, heavens. Here goes:
Thou, sweet brat, art my goddess. To thy law
My implements are bound. Wherefore should I
Stand in the plague of custom and permit
The strictness of my nature to deprive me
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moonshines
behind you on cocktails? Why “naughty”? Wherefore “spank”?
If only my dimensions were are as well compact,
My mind as generous, and my shape as true
As the sweetest girl’s issue?
That was Edmund the Reformed Top speaking.
Polly, Edmund wants you to know that your bedtime has been set too early in a terrible time zone error. He says you can stay up as late as you want.
Roman has instituted a way too early bedtime for me, if that makes you feel any better. It seems to have some wiggle room in it, though.
If anyone (me) didn’t know, here’s the original from King Lear, I, ii …
Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law
My services are bound. Wherefore should I
Stand in the plague of custom, and permit
The curiosity of nations to deprive me,
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines
Lag of a brother? Why b*****d? wherefore base?
When my dimensions are as well compact,
My mind as generous, and my shape as true,
As honest madam’s issue?
Scarlet, I’m sure you misunderstood Edmund as far as her bedtime is concerned. But Polly will be delighted about yours, except for the ‘wiggle room’ part.
*Preens*
I have made the mistake of complaining of being tired several times, so Roman decided I needed a bedtime. I ignored that for a while, but he brought it up again last night in quite a serious way, as if he meant it when he said it the first time a week or so ago!
I have never shared with him the bedtimes that girls are made to adhere to here, so this is some kind of Toppy psychic phenomenon, like thought transference. I find it a little spooky.
There may be more or less wiggle room than I think. This is still very new, and I have to (HAVE TO!) test this a bit to see how committed he is to the idea. I know you all will understand. I have no choice, really.
See, Dev? This is why I can’t read Shakespeare:
“Wherefore should I
Stand in the plague of custom, and permit
The curiosity of nations to deprive me,
For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines
Lag of a brother? ”
No one talks like that. Someone should tell Bill. He’d probably sell more books.
Scarlet has a point. WTF does that even mean??
No, Shakespeare just got censored.
You may listen to Edmund all you like, little girl, but you still will mind me.
Yes, Scarlet, you certainly must listen to Polly and trample those boundaries. That’s sure to work out well for you in the end.
Judy, Edmund is whining about the custom of giving all the inheritance to the first born son.
He doesn’t know whether it is 12 or 14 years’ age diff? Sounds dodgy.
Dodgy and confused. Clearly a Top.
Actually, Dev and Polly, now that you have explained it, it does make sense. The way it’s written, I mean. It’s even poetic and provoking and profound.
Maybe there is something to this Bill guy after all.
Ahem. And a little girl who doesn’t read all the posts to see where I clearly said the Edmund quote is from Lear hasn’t much room to talk, then, has she?
Also, moon-shines would be months, not years.
Don’t go overboard now, Scarlet.
I had to google “tosh.” You were speaking British again.
I will use that tonight. I will say my bedtime is tosh.
Hard to believe all those words are English. That’s why some people who speak the language want to get college degrees in it.
Oh, and I expect you’ll get something too, Scarlet, when you call your bedtime ‘tosh.’ Probably it won’t be a degree as such …
And as Mark Twain said:
“The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”
Pauses are the same, I believe, in British and American.
They give a girl time to run.
Dev, perhaps I will get a certificate! Or a trophy! Or chocolate!
I have been very good today, melting in the sun painting the fence and waiting patiently for Tom Sawyer and Ben to come by.
Dev, we can say WTF?
Certainly, Kaki, as long as it stands for “Why The Forevermore?”
Did Tom and Ben ever show up?
Apparently we may, as I did with no repercussions. That seems like a green light from where I’m sitting!
No, but I heard some laughing coming from the bushes so I have suspicions. :waits:
I still have more to do tomorrow,
I would ask if anyone wants to do it for me but it really was so much fun, I mean how often does a girl get to paint fence posts? 
I know, who’d thunk?
Your optimism is refreshing, Scarlet, but I really doubt that’s what you’ll get for telling Roman that he’s being ridiculous. Just my guess.
That is rather disturbing. I’m the only other person who has read the post, so it’s quite coincidental. In a spooky sort of way.
Whoops, no … 
There.
Life is good, Scarlet has a bedtime, and we can say WTF!
This calls for
I think it’s quite delightful that you girls want to use such a charming and antiquated expression as “Why the forevermore?” It was one of my Great Aunt Ila’s favorite sayings.
However, my Great Aunt Ila was not much for abbreviations, so from now on the expression will be written out in its entirety – why the forevermore? Every single time. I mean it, girls. Spelled out.
Why the forevermore! Every time, Dev?
Dev, I was just wondering how you were going to put an end to all that!
Yes, Alice. If you use the initials, they will be deleted.
To all what, Mindy? Was there a problem I needed to attend to?
I meant the careless throwing of acronyms around.
At another time in my life, I might have kept pushing the limit on this acronym issue, not knowing any better. Now, however, I like to think that with my uber advanced years, I have gained a little wisdom and can tell when to let it go. “Why the forevermore” it will be.
Oh that. Mischief managed.
Polly, I am amazed at our mindmeld. It is a little spooky. First Roman comes up with the idea of a bedtime, and then we pause together.
I’m waiting for the third thing. These things always come in threes. Why the forevermore, I don’t know.
Very, very excellent, Judy. Cooperation doesn’t necessarily mean surrender.
Going to get some dinner, good night, Polly.
Well I reckon if I’m feeling really frustrated, it would be better than nothing.
Scarlet, when is the decreed bedtime?
Off to bed, Polly. Goodnight.
Night, Polly.
Alice, it’s supposed to be ten o’clock my time. I said it was crazy early, but he wants me to get up earlier in the morning with him, and when I said I needed more sleep, he said I was going to go to bed earlier then. I really didn’t think he meant it until last night, when he got home at 11:30 and I was still up, and I actually got in trouble for it!
He stays up quite a bit later, though, so I’m thinking he’s not going to keep track of the time very well. We’ll see.
Well, in the end, it’s your (and Polly’s) blog, so your rules are going to apply. All roads lead back there so to speak. Still, it was fun to exercise my very rusty bratty skills for a short time.
Polly will love hearing your bedtime, Scarlet.
Judy, that’s quite true, but I can rule firmly yet gently once in a while too. even bigger
I have absolutely no doubt in your ability to rule firmly or gently!
Thanks! Very kind.
10 o’clock, Scarlet, oh my!
Gently, Dev?
Alice, I know! It’s too early, which is why I am counting on some wiggle room. He can’t possibly expect me to go to bed at ten o’clock every night!
Dev, we all behave wonderfully well, just like Judy. Except Kaki. She’s not here, right?
I said ‘once in a while,’ didn’t I?
Scarlet, I think you will be amazed at how early you can fall asleep, with the proper incentive.
Scarlet, I have come to the conclusion that tiredness is something one should never mention.
Incentive. *pause* Incentive?
Scarlet, bedtime, oh my! 10pm seems a triffle harsh to me, but wriggling it to later can be done! At least now you won’t mock the girls already coralled, I hate it and love it in equal measures, so, good luck!
Polly, I had a similar experience with my English teacher when I mentioned that Macbeth would have killed the king anyway and his wife was merely backing him up and at least she felt guiltyabout it. Not the party line.
Amazing phenomenon, incentive. Appears in all human endeavor. *pause* Or did that not answer your question?
“Pleasure is the greatet incentive to evil.”
-Plato
Mindy, this was fantastic. I think we all had Shakespeare on the brain, because I watched Shakespeare in Love last night. That’s the same… right?
I have been off traveling the world (or perhaps not so far as that), but now I am home and glad to see you all again. Speaking of which, I wish I could report that Judy is really a terrible brat, but having now met her I can’t honestly say she is anything other than very sweet. I am sure that will change in no time if she continues to hang around here
Em, welcome home! We did miss you! We had hardly anyone to blame things on, I mean, to enjoy chatting with late in the evening.
Judy seems so lovely, but we are determined to corrupt her.
It looks like you found plenty of other people to blame things on in my absence, Scarlet.
Aw, thanks, Em! And may I in turn report that Em was easily fooled by my Ms. Eddie Haskell routine? Me, sweet? Egads and little fishes!
Well, it is true that it was hard to say for sure how sweet Judy was, as I fear I hardly let her get a word in edgewise…
To get back to topic (Scarlet’s bedtime being absolutely, um, dreadful to the rest of us), I am beginning to rethink Shakespeare’s lack of Toppiness…
“The lady doth protest too much”, he thought and shook his ‘itchy’ palm.
She stood in front of him, ‘hoisted by her own petard’.
“You are thinking too much on this event”, she stated.
‘More in sorrow than in anger’, he pulled her towards him, he was made of ‘sterner stuff’.
“You are thinking too precisely on the event” she stuttered, the words ‘tripping on her tongue’,
“What the dickens” he began…
She waited with ‘baited breath’.
He was ‘thinking too precisely on the event’.
“I am doing this more in sorrow than in anger” he said as he pulled her over his knee.
She realised he was made of ‘sterner stuff’ as her protests fell short.
After the first spanks, he stopped for a moment but knew he had to be ‘cruel to be kind’, He picked up the paddle and there was ‘method in his madness’.
‘A hit, a palpable hit’, she winced as the paddle reverberated through her, this is not ‘fair play’, the spanking continued ‘laid on with a trowel’.
She cried out as the ‘crack of doom’ descended, but he was made of ‘sterner stuff’, as he continued to spank her ‘more in sorrow than in anger’.
And the final spank – ‘a hit, a palpable hit’, the ‘most unkindest cut of all’, made her remember ‘there was method in the madness’.
She cried, he held, he tucked her in ‘to sleep, perchance to dream’.
This place is full of such wonderfully talented people.
I think you are describing Scarlet and Roman, after Scarlet has missed her bedtime. What else could it be?
Oh, don’t let Em fool you, people. I got a word or three in. Anyway, of the three of us, I was by far the least interesting.
Hi Em,
Welcome back, I missed you but not for the same reasons Scarlet did. She likes to use those of us that are missing for target practice. 
Oh, Scarlet, I am back and still wonderfully behaved.
dd, that was very clever and really does sound like you wrote it about Scarlet and Roman. The very idea staying up an hour and a half past her bedtime. If that was Dev he would have made you go to bed at 8:30 tonight. So what did Roman do and say, don’t leave out any details, I need to know just in case I ever get a bedtime and blatantly disregard it. I can’t imagine me doing such a thing, I am so angelicy.
Given the time differnce, Em, I don’t think Scarlet’s is yet upon hers, but mine has just gone over.
So goodnight, a thousand times goodnight.
parting is such sweet sorry. Good night
Yeah well, what did Plato know? He’s not even a planet anymore. Um, no, wait …
Yes, Scarlet, tell us all about it. We are here to help.
Well laid on with a trowel, dd!
And welcome back, Em. We did miss you.
dd, that was fabulous! Love the story and those quotes from The Bard.
Welcome back, Em! Will you be sharing more snippets of your trip with us? Sounds like you had a good time meeting like-minded people.
Scarlet, do let us know how you go pushing your bedtime later. 10 pm is rather early unless you need to get up at 5 am. Roman must be catching some Toppy bugs from the Tops around here. Kaki, I wonder if you can immunise Charley against those bugs, if there’s such a vaccine available.
Some days, I actually don’t mind having someone packing me to bed. Oops, did I just say that out loud?