When It Is Too Late For “Sorry!”
Jun 6, 2012 by Devlin O' Neill
You know how this goes even if you never have been there in real life, don’t you, young lady? It started with just kidding around, and then you got brave and pushed the envelope, just to see if you could get away with it, then you pushed it some more. Suddenly you had gone too far, and his sterling sense of humor evaporated like a raindrop in the Nevada sun.
And the next thing you know, there you are, and there is your bare bottom, and he is being oh so very serious with it. You did not sign on for this, because this is going beyond sting, beyond ouch, and into some truly squeal-inducing territory you had much rather not explore, ever.
So you try to head him off at the pass, give him your very best ‘see how pitiful I am, you can’t really want to spank me HARD, can you?’ face, along with all the most sincere sorries and mea culpas you can muster, hoping that in spite of everything you know about him he will relent, at least a little bit, at least to the point that you do not absolutely have to have a pillow to sit on for the next several hours.
This of course is when all the wrong moves you made flash through your mind, all the do overs you wish you could get, all the button pushing you want to take back. You recall the twinkle in his eye when he told you off for using that phrase he hates first thing this morning; you remember with warm fondness the brief and sting-y but exhilarating few swats he gave you when you said it again at lunch; and now you are blathering apologies a mile a minute, your bottom already aquiver in anticipation of his titanium-like, no-nonsense hand on your soft and sensitive flesh because you said it AGAIN right after supper.
Yes, now that you have pushed him this far, you might as well save the sorries. You won’t, of course, because there is always hope that he will listen, and eventually he will.
The words coming out of your mouth at that point might bear little resemblance to your mother tongue for all the sobbing you do while attempting to utter them, but once he has sorted you out, once he has rosened your bum to a brilliant well-done, once he has made, emphasized, and re-emphasized his point, then his wonted patience will return, good as new.
Until then you could be in for some rather rough seas, my girl, as well you can imagine. But you pushed against the boundary and found exactly how much give it had, and now that he has dragged you back to your proper place on THIS side of the line, he will want to hear the sorries and mea culpas again, and this time there will be forgiveness, and all will be bright and peaceful in your world once more.
Until the next time.
That is all.
Devlin out.
You probably wouldn’t want to share that phrase you hate so much, would you? You know, just so we don’t use it accidentally and get in trouble for it.
That’s kind of an ouchie post for a beautiful day like this, isn’t it? Birds are singing, sun is shining. You walked on the beach this morning! You weren’t thinking these terrible thoughts whilst walking on the beach, were you?
Oh, dear.
Good post, Dev. Thought provoking, really.
Sure wish I knew what that magic phrase is.
Cindy, I have several such words and phrases, and I know you know a few of them. The beach was very relaxing, but I hardly considered this post at all while I was out there. Just so you know.
See Thistle,
this is what will happen to you when you push the Professor too far. 
of the blite. And possibly Alice….but she only has gg title cos she is hardly ever here.
You should learn to listen to me an scarlet an Mindy, for we are the good girls
Wise words indeed Professor.
Let’s hope Thistle pay’s attention this time….although i have doubts. 
If you have to be brave to push the envelope, I guess it’s a good thing that I’m so shy and retiring.
Jay, I will worry about the other girls’ activities. You had better keep your well reasoned concerns focused on your own behavior, young lady. Just saying. :waits:
Why do you ask, Kaki? Do you feel like I’m looking at you when you read this?
If you did then I am honored you wrote a whole post in my honor.
You’re looking for a good smack, aincha Jaybird.
And who wouldn’t be?
That will do, Cindy. I believe you have your own knitting to attend to, young lady. :waits:
Okie doke
I said no, Jay.
Ooo, Jay got her comment deleted.
Kaki, that is not helpful in the least and the same might happen to yours if you keep that up.
Jay, I don’t know what you said, but it must have been really bad and all I have to say, Jay, is
Enough! Both of you!
Dev, good evening,
Nice post, it’s strange, as intelligent as our girls are, this seems be to one lessen that they regularly forget.
Perhaps this should be researched by a good psychologist.
Warm
Paul.
Good evening, Paul, and yes, it is most passing strange. The psychologist idea is not a bad one, but I fear the finding would only be a more complete definition of the word ‘incorrigible,’ which may or may not be terribly helpful.
Dev, is this post your warning to selected naughty girls? It can’t possibly be directed to angelic girls like Scarlet and me, afterall, we have the Best Girl award.
Paul, it’s not intelligent girls are forgetful but ambitious. They want to stretch their wings and extend the boundaries. You can’t blame them for aspiring to achieve greater goals.
Oh, buh-ruther!
Incorrigible? Nah, more like perseverant and enduring.
That secretary should apologize for that hair. ZING!
Envelopes can be pushed through inaction as well.
You spotted the problem in the first paragraph, Dev, the guy lost his sense of humour. If he only looked after it a bit better everything would be fine.
Maybe she should do more kidding around to help keep his humour intact? 
*cough* full *cough* of *choke* baloney *sputter*
Mindy, I agree with you but you made a mistake, you meant to say, Kaki and Cindy.
Alice, I missed you.
I was just saying last night how much I missed you and wished you were here, I was even going to wake you up. 
Gives you a little peek in the window of what it would be like living with me doesn’t it? `
Hmm, weren’t you trying to get me spanked last night? Do you mean that you’ve missed driving the bus over me?
Senses of humor have a shelf life, just like everything else, Alice. If she will chip away at his, she has only herself to blame. Oh, and Kaki wasn’t just going to wake you up, she was going to pull out from behind the sofa where she was convinced you were concealing yourself when I decided the lot you girls needed a spanking. Just so you know.
Spanking is funny.
Sometimes I call it “funishment”, because it is!
Nobody likes a tattle tale, Dev.
Alice, don’t listen to Dev, you know me better than that.
Kaki is such a helpful friend.
Can’t think why you would want to spank me anyway, as Jay says I’m a good girl. 
Just for the record, I’m off to bed, not hiding behind the sofa tonight.
Goodnight, Alice, sweet dream. Don’t worry I won’t try and wake you.
No wonder she’s being caned. Well, that and for the cardinal sin of being a secretary with a bored boss.
I know that’s the only reason I have a secretary. What’s she going to do otherwise: “type”?
(I have an administrative assistant for that.)
You know, dd hasn’t been around for a few days, I hope everything is all right with her.
I really like the sofa guy. One of the reasons I like him is because I can FIND him when I’m in a hurry.
What’s your secretary’s email address? I have some information from the DOL and Wage & Hour that she asked for.
Dev, thanks for explaining this to us. It has been somewhat of a mystery until now since, as you know, we girls would never push the envelope like that. Well, maybe Kaki would, but that’s why Charlie has two
.
I had not thought of that, but you are, of course, correct.
I thought it was because he is ambidextrous and only had to work half as hard to get the same effect.
Tough election yesterday, Em. So close.
Dev, I’d be inclined to think that research would find a variation of the “any attention is good attention” findings in research on behavior in children. Possibly that is not at odds with what you have said.
Cindy, when it comes to spanking he is ambidextrous. I think he puts something on his hands to make them feel like wood.
Lily, I cannot deny that some girls around here are in dire need of attention, that’s for sure.
Em, as far as envelope pushing, I have it on good authority that you have been working with the Mead envelope company for years as a pusher-tester. This activity of course spilled over into your real life ever so easily.
Goodnight, Alice.
Sofa guy really does stand out in a crowd, no doubt about it.
Thanks, Cindy. I’m disappointed, but can’t say I’m terribly surprised. Of course, the whole country may have to suffer through him if the rumors of a vice presidential candidacy are at all true.
Now that you mention it, Dev, I haven’t received a paycheck in… ever
Those Mead people better get on that!
Oooh, Kaki, not the bath brush! I think I might take two paddles over one bath brush. Maybe you could “lose” it under the couch?
oh, gods, do you think the Canadians would take us? I could be a really good Canadian, I think.
Yes, why do you think I am so good.
She objects to being paid in shekels and gin.
I think you forgot the
icon. 
That would have been safer than sidestepping the lightning bolt.
I am going up to bed now, goodnight, Em and anyone else still up.
Goodnight, Kaki!
Hi, Mindy. When you get home could you delete that picture of that poor girl lying on that hard table with her legs up in the air. The poor dear not only is such an outlandish position but has to hold her own legs!
And that table is going to hurt her back, then he’ll be sorry. 
I can’t bear to look at it, and no, it doesn’t bring back any memories. 
Happy Birthday, Laura. I’m sorry that you have to work, but I hope that you have time for cake
and get lots of gifts. 
I was thinking the same thing when I first saw that picture this morning. How uncomfortable it must be to lie on that table with her legs up in the air and her head unsupported. Surely that would distract her from the pain assaulting her bottom.
You’re kidding, aren’t you?
Dev, not everything has a shelf life. Honey is one.
Happy Birthday, Lauraj! I hope your colleagues and friends spoil you silly with cakes
, flowers 
, pressies 
and lots of love 
.
Aw, Cindy you care! All good here but been away for half term, alternately freezing and burning on the beach due to the vagaries of the English weather. I should definitely be awarded a Good Girl medal, although BBH won’t be too chuffed about the sunburn. Won’t be seeing him until tomorrow, in Paris minus jars, so hopefully will have gone by then!
I seem to get in enough trouble without pushing any buttons, envelopes or boats! Haven’t been spanked in over a week, although that could be due to a house overflowing with relatives of all ages. Did you know that teenagers never go to bed and oldies get up at unearthly hours of the morning? Maybe this coming weekend won’t be quite as peaceful as planned.
She’s away.
Hi, dd! Didn’t see you there. I hope you’re having a relaxing time.
Happy birthday, Laura! Like the girls said, hope you get lots of attention from your friends, and have fun!
DD, welcome back! Sorry to hear about the sunburn. You English girls seem to have more problem with that than most, though knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to take, I’m sure. Hope things calm down around there soon.
Kaki and Mindy, if the girl didn’t want to wind up in that position she should not have been so naughty.
Dev, her Top should not have been so mean.
Hi dd, I missed you.
Did you have lots of company for the Royal celebration?
Did you go to see it? It must have been amazing.
Sounds wonderful you and BBH get to go away together, have a great time.
Dev, I’ve thought about his seriously now. I have to say, I really don’t push to see how much give a boundary has. I just ask. For instance, if you draw a line in the sand and say don’t cross it, I might ask if you meant I shouldn’t step over it with both feet. How about just one foot? Just a toe? And how about the line itself – is it OK to step on the line? Well, you never told me that I couldn’t ask questions, and how can I possibly know how to act if you won’t make the rules clear? No, looking at the carpet really will not help.
Some girls need mean, honey.
How about the line into impertinence, Lily? Do you know where that line is? Hm?
I know where that line is.
Well, that’s all I have.
We tried to subvert the game Risk last night, but there’s altogether too much dice rolling.
Also she won somehow, so I assumed and spanked her for cheating.
Sir, I am rather hoping it is the one I’m still standing just on the right side of. I do regret my ill-chosen words and humbly beg your pardon.
Yes, Lily, it is. Just. And granted.
Was that a funishment?
Now, Dev, I agree with the other fine girls here. With all due respect, what’s up with all of these photos of poor sweet girls getting caned? (Especially that one–you know-). They are
mean & horrid and fly in the face of all of my romantic fantasies of spanking–where the girl is comfortably draped across the man’s lap while his hand softly spanks her bottom and his fingers gently probe those secret places causing 
pleasurable ripples & flutters in her tummy. Whew! Is it 
hot in here or just me? 
Sooooo—since it’s my birthday and I’m feeling a bit nostalgic, and the 19 year old I work with asked me what shorthand is, I propose that we leave behind the scary pictures and thoughts and instead, play the “Remember When” game. I’ll start!
Remember when you could leave the house without checking first for any protruding chin hairs? And why is it that you never see them until they are long enough to wrap around a curling iron?
Remember when you know that the stars on the original Hollywood Squares gameshow were giving naughty answers but you were still too innocent to fully grasp the meanings?
Remember 78′s, 45′s and 33 1/3 records along with the amazing change from mono to stereo sound? And remember when the songs played on today’s oldies stations were cutting edge, brand new music?
Remember when certain body parts were still where they are supposed to be and not affected by gravity?
And Dev may even know this one since he grew up in a house filled with women: remember the awful stench from the chemicals in the Toni home perms? Remember twirling your hair into tiny pin curls and securing it with bobbi pins?
Ummm–can we please have an “edit” button to correct misspellings and other typing boo-boos? Please excuse mine in the above post.
Lauraj, I doubt Dev will agree to the “edit” button. Cindy has asked for it several times and his answer was always a firm
.
Glad to hear you got a cake.
Missed you all too, Kaki
saw the main celebrations on tv as were away on the coast, but all the small towns and villages near us had parades, fetes and celebrations. Jnrs have managed to stock up on enough sweets and tat to last them a lifetime. I restricted myself to a fudge diet.
Happy Birthday, Lauraj.
A girl should always have cake on their birthday, although the number of candles should be left entirely to their discretion, something I wish certain members of the household would realise.
Thank you, sir.
Remember when Ford made the Edsel?
I’m glad that you got cake.
It was fun for me.
Maybe…
That you got through a game of Risk in a single night is impressive, almost suggests some slight of hand may have taken place.
We play by strict retro-classic rules, which speeds everything up.
It’s still more than two hours, so we’re thinking of going with Settlers of Catan next time.
No.
Hi, Jay. It’s Thursday night so it should be safe for you now, were you hiding behind the couch all day? How many of the pictures above did you recreate today?
Remember when pop-top soda cans came out? the flip top wasn’t attached to the can so they were found all over the ground and when you returned soda bottles to the store you got .02 and could buy candy.
Yes, Jay and Cindy, we could buy candy for .02 but usually you had a couple bottles and had enough for a twin pop (a nickel) and candy. 
You go, girl.
Eat lots of your cake and don’t think about the calories. Birthdays are the only holiday just to celebrate you. 
I know what you mean, we were at the store and the cashier thought our grandchild was ours. She was serious (it wasn’t the type of store where she gets a commision), she kept looking at us and she was around my age.
Have you played Carcassonne?
I keep hearing about it, so I suspect I should.
Ha! That does look good. I like the meeples.
Laura, delighted you had such a great birthday, and yes, I remember all that stuff, plus 25 cent movie matinees on Saturday – two western features with Roy Rogers or Gene Autry or both, a couple of Warner Brothers cartoons, a Captain Video serial episode, and all the popcorn you could throw at each other, 15 cents a box. Or it might have been a dime.
I remember when Miller Lite introduced a punch top cans.
Wait, that was last month.
(Being classy, I haven’t actually drank Miller Lite, but that stupid commercial is on all the time now.)
Ha! I drank 3 Bass Ale’s and they was GOOD! And then I think I ate crab legs, but I was talking so someone else might have eatend them.
Ha! I have Bass ale too. Only I have no crab legs, You must have eatend all the crab legs and left me none. :waits:
I have Miller in the frig and no crab legs, just as well ’cause I’d have a hard time walking with them.
Come back folks, matinee on Saturday.
Remember when there were packing fairies, so you could go to sleep at a reasonable time like a good girl and wake up to all your bags packed? No? Drat. Happy birthday, Laura!!
Dev, the Saturday matinee was .35, we didn’t buy the popcorn at the theater we went to the 5 & 10 across the street and bought candy.
Are you moving, Em or going on vacation?
Going on a weekend getaway. Except I’ve overestimated the size of the wedding gift and underestimated the size of my luggage. Really hope they let me just carry on both.
Last time I had to travel for a baby shower my sister and I both bought big gifts and decided next time a gift certificate would make a lovely gift.
Hope its not breakable, have a fun time.
Do the 
dance for me. 
Mindy, I kept a jar of honey so long in the cupboard once it all crystalized.
I should get some Bass Ale. Or some Bud Light.
That‘s classy.
Bud Light. The beer for people who don’t really like the taste of beer.
I’ve got two bottles of Proseco in the fridge and birthday cake! All to enjoy tomorrow night!
Dev–have you ever thought of writing a cowboy/western book based on your exhaustive childhood movie matinee research!
Remember saving up Top Value and S&H Green Stamps and swapping them out with friends and relatives to get what you want from their catalogues?
Remember the Hamms beer commercials????
Remember when Jack Nicklaus was an up-and-coming young golfer nipping at Arnold Palmer’s heels?
100 calories, all of them delicious.
Remember when computers took up whole rooms, Americans drove muscle cars built in Detroit, math problems were solved using slide rules, albums were pressed vinyl, and paper back books cost less than $1.
Laura, enjoy what is left of your birthday.
I have a cold, so I’m going to follow my doctor’s advice: “Make a pot of tea, add a shot of rum. It won’t cure your cold, but you won’t care that you have one.”
Good night to all of you.
we have the chicken dance at OUR weddings too, kaki!
Happyy birthday, Laura! I think I made it just under the wire. I hope you had a nice day.
Lily, I’m sorry you have a cold. I hope you enjoy your tea.
Ummmmm, I remember when all we had was dial up!Boy that was really slow!
The crystallisation is easily reversible and does not affect the taste or quality of the honey. Just place the bottle of honey in some warm water and as soon as the granules dissolve, remove the bottle and let it cool. Just don’t heat it over 40 degrees.
Sorry you have a cold, Lily. Rest well.
Remember when you there were no computers/printers and you had to type up your assignments on a typewriter? Making corrections were tedious as it often meant retyping the whole page (or whole assignment), especially if you had only noticed the mistake after you were done.
Well, it’s a bit late for that jar, Mindy. It went all sugary about 50 years ago, and my mom threw it out.
Hmmm….what do I remember from being a kid??
I remember when a pack of Premier League Football (soccer) stickers cost 20p, for that you got 5 reg’s and a shiney, and a stick of gum!
I remember the Beano & Dandy costing 50p and you usually got a refreshers bar stuck to the front…..or a dib dab!
I remember when McDonalds sold Rootbeer!
I remember cherry coke!
I remember when a single fair bus trip cost 30p! Now its £2.30!
I remember when Take That FIRST came out! And I still didn’t like Robbie!
I remember that Disney cartoons WERE the future……not Pixar!
I remember screaming in fright when the T-Rex attacked Lex and Timmy in the car in Jurassic Park!
Ahhh memorys.
I typed a few stories on an Olivetti portable I bought at Montgomery Ward for $69 when I was in college. Fortunately neither the stories nor the typewriter survived.
Jay, you would need to give lengthy explanations of about half those examples to Americans, but we all understood the bus fare thing.
I take it you don’t remember how to convert shillings and pence to crowns. 
Well since Decimaliasition didnt happen till the 70′s and I wasnt born till 81…..then i guess i don’t need to worry about shillings and crowns!
Beano & Dandy are weekly comic books that you bought at the newsagent. The refreshers bar is a chewy sweet with sherbert in it. Dib Dab’s are a sweet that has two different kinds of shurbert and a chewable stick to ‘dab’ it up with.
regs = regular stickers
Shiney = shiney stickers
Stick of Gum = 1 stick of really cheap chewing/bubble gum.
20p = 1/5 of £1
50p = 1/2 of £1
100 pennies in a pound.
Take That = A boy band fronted by Gary Barlow …with Robbie Williams as the clown…now he’s just a muppet.
Rootbeer = a fizzy drink that smells like Deep Heat.
Cherry coke = cheery flavoured coke!
Jurassic Park = a Steven Speilburg film about dinosaurs.
Dev, I was chatting with a couple of 20-somethings in a waiting room one day when that same idea hit me and I said so. This very sweet young lady replied, “Well, we are from Russia, and we didn’t have them there.”
*gasp* The godless heathens.
Really? Dinosaurs? How about that.
(Thanks, Jay.
)
Mindy, I remember that, too. I used to get special erasable paper to make corrections easier. If you needed two copies, you had to use carbon paper.
Thank you, I do feel better.
Dev, I still have a Smith-Corona typewriter. I don’t quite know what to do with it. Will it to the Smithsonian, perhaps?
Jay, I remember that scene, too. I also remember some people leaving the theater wondering why they hadn’t used real dinosaurs, but that is really another topic entirely.
My first cell phone was a bag phone.
I remember keypunch machines that punched holes in an eighty card column card, most people just called them IBM cards. You had to carry a box load of them to class and took an hour or longer to get your program run, unless some %$#$%@ got their program in a loop.
On my first job when I was 17 they had me schlepping 60 lb. boxes of punch cards up to a second floor storage room in a little warehouse out back of the plant. The floor gave way and I was buried under 6 or 8 tons of cards. Luckily I landed right in front of the door to the room downstairs and it was open. The door itself was crushed but I wasn’t, and was able to crawl out from under the wreckage through the doorway. I never did like punch cards.
YIKES!