Another Snippet From A Book To Be Published Soon
(Yes, the book is almost ready, at least for a final edit or three. I am undecided as to a title, which will be either Spank Her: One Top’s View of This Thing We Do, or The Elements of Spanking: Professor O’Neill Explains It All. Or some combination of the two. Comments and suggestions welcomed.)
So from my perspective and from my experience only I will tell you now about the women who do this thing we do, and how they feel about doing it. Obviously I have not met every woman who is into this, enjoys this, needs this, cannot survive without this, or merely is fanatically and obsessively curious about this thing we do, but I have met several of them, observed a goodly number of them, talked extensively with some of them, spanked a lot of them, and fallen in love with a few of them.
I have no statistical analysis, but I will say with confidence that roughly a hundred percent of heterosexual women in this world would not object too very much if the right man, in the right circumstance, and with the right motivation, gave every last one of them a good, hard slap on the bum, or perhaps several.
What I am saying is that women, gals, girls, need and want that kind of attention, because it says something to them. It says that the man is strong enough to know she needs it, and furthermore that he is paying attention to her. If he were not he wouldn’t bother to slap her behind. But of course it is much more than that. Spanking for a girl of a certain mind set is the ultimate attention, the ultimate statement that he cares. Many other emotions, issues, and physical reactions enter into the formula as well, and these vary from girl to girl, but in the final analysis, a girl like the ones I know needs to be spanked because that is what the man who loves her does.
The women I have met who do this thing we do, or who want to very, very much, have had a long history of wanting before they ever acted upon that want. Most knew before puberty that spanking attracted them, and that it was something they liked to think about and perhaps even see, if not actually have happen to them, and most were afraid of that feeling, because it was so strong, so pervasive, so deep.
If such a girl saw a movie, McClintock! for instance, with all the spanking that went on, she might be surprised to notice that those around her, the rest of the audience, did not have the heart flutters and rapid breathing she suffered at the time. She might have been shocked that the other people seemed immune to the Siren call of the handsome men’s big hands slapping those pretty women’s bottoms with such reckless abandon. It felt so right that the men in that film should do that to the girls, and yet at the same time, it felt wrong somehow that she should feel the way she did, as if she would have gladly traded places with Stephanie Powers or Maureen O’Hara in an instant, for the chance to feel what they were feeling when the Duke and his handsome son smacked their behinds. And so for the most part they kept quiet about it, because such thoughts and desires were altogether too different from the thoughts and desires of others to be acceptable, which often led to guilt and fear, suppression and renunciation of the attraction, until such time as it became no longer repressible, and came bubbling to the surface years or even decades later.
Such women as do this thing we do may or may not have been spanked as children, or since. Some even may have been physically abused, and abuse is the absolute antithesis of spanking as I practice it. Nevertheless, these women were able to get past that horrible experience and go on to desire the more humane, the more thoughtful, the more purposeful, beautiful, and consensual version of spanking.
But it appears to me, after checking with over a hundred women on the subject, that there is no direct correlation between whether the girl was spanked as a child and her subsequent desire to participate consensually in the activity. In fact I noted something like a fifty-fifty split between women who were and those who were not spanked as children, and yet all still found their way into this thing we do, either as active participants or eager observers who need only the right opportunity to practice what I preach.
For some women, the simple, physical act of being spanked is enjoyable, counterintuitive as that idea might be, even if the actual feeling is not always exactly pleasant. It hurts to be hit, so one would think, but to be spanked, for this kind of girl, is not at all the same as being hit. The best analogy I know is to think of having the back of your neck rubbed by a professional who really knows what she is doing. She digs her thumbs right into those tight muscles and pushes hard, stretching the fibers and making them relax, which really hurts – but in a good way. The tension flows out of your body on waves of pain, and you let go of the stress along with the pain, and when it quits hurting you find that you have relaxed, and afterwards you can move your head around a lot more easily. In that same way, girls find spanking therapeutic – hurt that drives out other hurt, pain that displaces worse pain, the psychological pain, of guilt, anxiety, fear, or depression.
Not every spanking, however, is meant to be a catharsis, and some girls find a great deal of pleasure in being spanked for no reason at all. Some girls can be spanked for hours by a single partner, or possibly several, for instance with a group of like-minded friends at a party. Such a girl can and will ask for what she needs, or lets it be known she is into such things, sometimes just by showing up at these parties. This is not to say that this light-hearted, unassuming activity is the only way in which she participates, and there is no stigma attached to a girl who bounces from lap to lap at parties, enjoying the energetic attentions of several partners over the course of an evening or a weekend.
This same girl, however, could very well be involved in a quite monogamous relationship on every other level, and have very different reactions to and feelings for the spankings she gets from her committed partner in that activity, but at a party it is all fun and games, the point of which is to acquire as much stimulation to her bottom as comfortably – and here comfortably is very much a relative and subjective term – possible before she must return to her everyday life. Coming home after a party with more or less durable marks on her bum is expected, and there is a certain feeling of loss, or party drop, as the marks fade away, so she is very fortunate indeed if there is someone at home to renew that feeling straight away, even if he does feel more than a bit wiped out himself from spanking several other girls at the same party.
But then at quite a different segment of the spanking experience continuum might be a girl who needs very much to be spanked, but who would never ask for such a thing, though she will go to great lengths to find a man who can and will satisfy that need, and then do whatever it takes to let him know what she requires. These are girls who give themselves to only one man at a time, and then only when he proves he can and will come and get her, and do whatever is necessary to sort her out. This girl desperately needs boundaries, and at the same time will fight desperately against having any such boundaries imposed. Only when this man has shown her, usually by spanking her bottom hard and making her listen to him when he tells her that she has no choice but to accept the boundaries he thinks best for her, will she accept that he is in charge and come to him fully.