Devlin’s Caffeine Inspired ‘Spanking in Sci-Fi’
If Gwen thinks that occurrences of spanking in historical romance are few and far between, she should try science fiction. But I was an avid sci-fi reader in my youth, and fortunate enough to find Robert Heinlein, who mentioned spanking in several of his novels and short stories, even though most of his references are made jokingly or in passing so the actual event rarely occurs. For instance, in one of his ‘juvenile’ books, “Podkayne of Mars,” the early teen heroine accidentally lets her little brother be kidnapped and asks her father to spank her for it, to relieve her guilt, and of course he won’t and hugs her instead.
But in an alternate-universe adventure novel called “Glory Road” Heinlein’s hero threatens to spank his heroine with her own sword for reasons I can’t recall. She was not only a hard-bodied hottie but also a damn fine swordswoman, and she told him in no uncertain terms that wasn’t going to happen. He did spank her eventually, with his hand and not with her sword, and only after a fairly fierce wrestling match that he did not easily win, but he did manage to pull down her tights and spank her bare bottom, although I’m pretty sure Heinlein didn’t use the phrase ‘bare bottom.’ I’d have remembered that. Sci-fi writers of the 1950s and 60s still were heavily under the influence of the Gernsback Laws, as in Hugo Gernsback, namesake of the Hugo Award, publisher of numerous sci-fi magazines, and unrepentant prude, whose rules kept sex out of science fiction for decades. Heinlein was one of the first major authors in the genre to defy these laws, and his later works, “A Stranger in a Strange Land” for example, were rife with casual nudity and mostly off-screen sex. By the same token, if I ever read Isaac Asimov writing on sex, it was so offhand as to be completely forgettable.
As to the occurrence of spankings in science fiction films and television shows – NOT! Spanking, and even its mere mention, seems to be taboo in sci-fi movies and TV shows. I do recall that there was one in ‘Star Trek, The Next Generation,’ but it was a total joke – a holo-deck riff where Wesley Crusher’s mother tells him to behave or the nerd ensign who wrote the holo-deck program would spank him. If there are other spanking references in visual sci-fi I haven’t seen or can’t recall them.
That’s one big reason I wrote “Corporal Idaho,” the overall lack of spanking in science fiction. I love the genre, the unlimited ‘what if’ that drives the writer to postulate and the reader to follow him into unknown realms. So ‘what if’ we carry on beyond the range of radio telescopes, or better yet, into the almost-knowable future? Do we get to see Captain Picard pull down Deanna Troi’s pants and smack her round bottom until she can’t sit for being such a know-it-all, for having such a weird accent, or for inviting her highly annoying mother onto the Enterprise? Um … probably not, but I’ll keep the idea for later, okay?
My point here, and I really do have one, is that given the dearth of actual spankings in the genre one is left to imagine them, and there are a great many sci-fi heroines who could use a hard hand, limber strap, or serious paddle applied to their naughty, futuristic, fantasy tushies. Jadzia Dax (Terry Farrell) of “Deep Space Nine” leaps mostly readily to mind. Yeah, she abandoned the show to work with Ted Danson on “Becker,” and didn’t like that either so she quit after two or three seasons, so for that if no other reason Terry should have her curvaceous tushy smacked until those Iowa cows come home.
Yep, she’s an Iowan, just like Captain James T. (Why Shouldn’t I Be A Boston Lawyer?) Kirk from the original series. Jadzia also has the distinction of marrying a Klingon, Worf, in the show. A Klingon’s idea of foreplay is when a prospective mate (dramatic music and Michael Dorn begins to moan and hyperventilate) starts throwing heavy objects at him. Klingon sex always results in more or less serious injury to both parties, so we have to assume that a well-spanked bottom is the least of a female Klingon’s, or Jadzia Dax’s, worries.
When Terry, a classically statuesque beauty, quit the show and was written out of the plot by being killed, she was replaced by Ezri Dax (Nicole de Boer)
who is cuddly and cute, perhaps excessively so, to the point that it stretched credulity to think of her as host to a 900-year-old warrior/statesman/serial murderer Trill symbiont. Also, they weren’t very good about showing her from behind, though the few times they did were worth the wait, and a good bun warming wouldn’t be at all out of order for this little doll.
On the same show we have Major Kira Nerys (Nana Visitor) with whom I would readily share a cabana on Tahiti for the rest of my life, and who is in serious need of a smacked bottom, if those tight Bajoran uniform trousers and Cardassian-occupation derived chip on her shoulder attitude are any indications.
And speaking of adorable bottoms, can ANYONE, male or female or non-committed, not want to squeeze and fondle Seven of Nine’s (Jeri Ryan) exquisite situpon?
I’m convinced that “Star Trek, Voyager” lasted as long as it did simply because of that enhanced Borg catsuit rear view. When “Voyager” was canceled Jeri went on to work at another series but it didn’t do her justice. She played a teacher on “Boston Public” where she looked totally lost without her Borg-implant facial jewelry. But she did one bit on “Voyager” where she channeled a myriad of species that the Borg had assimilated, and her onscreen suffering truly touched me. I wanted to hold and caress her, tell her it was all right, and then take her over my lap, pull off that catsuit, and spank the awfulness out of her. I still do.
Then there’s ‘Star Trek, Enterprise.’ I changed channels as soon as I heard the theme song. I mean REALLY! Easily the worst since ‘Petticoat Junction.’ Other Star Trek series had no songs, just snazzy, exciting, and/or uplifting orchestral music. So I have to ask – what WERE the producers thinking? A fatuous, smarmy ballad as intro to a serious sci-fi show? The other sound you hear is Gene Roddenberry thrashing about in his grave.
Okay, I did watch a couple of episodes, mostly to see Vulcan Sub-Commander T’Pol (Jolene Blalock) in her catsuit. Dang, but she has a sweet backside, and a killer pout. Yeah, maybe she’s a bit androgynous when looked at head on, but still she ought to be spanked for that pout. Maybe she will appear in another series, in another catsuit.
We can only hope, right?
There’s a lot of sci-fi around, so this listing barely scratches the surface. Princess Leia needed her cute royal rump roasted on numerous occasions; Ripley in the ‘Alien’ series probably would have enjoyed getting a sore bottom from the right man, although I’d prefer to spank Sigourney Weaver in her Gwen DeMarco guise from “Galaxy Quest;” and if we can class “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” as sci-fi – well, I’d really like to find out first spanking hand if Geller is a yeller. If you guys have any favorite sci-fi or fantasy spankees I failed to mention, or if you know of spanking references in the genre, by all means leave a note in the comments section.
That is all.
Devlin out.
(All photos grabbed from Wikipedia)
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Come on, you can tell me … was it coffee or Sudafed? LOL …
xoxoxoxoxox
Mountain Dew, and not the sugar-free sort – and a couple of Sudafed, if it’s any of your business, young lady. Hrumph! *G*
That’s definitely one of Gernsback’s magazine covers, BTW, and you’ll notice the girl is turned the WRONG WAY ROUND. Stupid blue alien.
Nice find, Princess. I’ll see if I can put the line breaks back in without messing this up.
Love you bunches,
UD
Great post, and a favorite topic of mine.
Sci-Fi and Fantasy, that is…..not spanking.
Well…spanking too, actually.
Ok….TWO favorite topics of mine….
Way back when, I wrote a story for CF Publications combining the two. It was called “Spank Trek: The Next Flagellation”. It was more comedic than anything else, and definitely not worth trying to track down, but fun to write. And as I recall, Dr. Crusher got spanked by Captain Picard, and the story ended with her pulling a little trick that got Deanna Troi spanked, too.
The original Star Trek did have an episode in which Captain Kirk threatened to introduce an alien leader (Helen of Troilus, I believe) to an old earth custom called a spanking. Needless to say, it never happened, but I was hoping…..
I won’t run down all the actresses again, but I have to agree with you that I watched a good many episodes of all the Star Treks because of the way those tight uniforms fit the backsides of Marina Sirtis, Jeri Ryan, Jolene Blaylock, etc.
I also agree with you regarding the Star Trek: Enterprise music. WORST-THEME-SONG-EVER!
Finally, I agree that Sarah Michelle Gellar would make a great spankee–but all the women on that show made my palm itch. My own personal favorite would be Willow. I don’t care that she turned bad for a bit, or turned out to be gay….I’d still like to paddle her bottom. It must be the red hair.
Cordelia, of course, was just too spankable for words. But the one who probably would have been the most fun was Anya. She certainly seemed to be up for anything.
I’m sure you remember the episode (fourth season, I think) where Willow, Xander, and Anya are sitting around playing cards. Xander is shuffling the deck, and they’re wondering where Buffy is. Willow says something like, “Oh, she’s probably out with her spanking new boyfriend.”
And Anya replies, “Oh, yes. We like spanking.”
At which point Xander loses control of the deck and cards fly everywhere…..
Dang,I’m longwinded.
Dr. Ken
OutSTANDING comment, Dr. K. I may have to transfer this to post status.
First of all, CF Publications published the original ‘Maid’ stories which eventually became the first couple of ‘Maid’ books, after serious and extensive revision, and yes, I too wrote a Deanna Troi spanking, except I had Riker do the honors. Can’t remember now if I ever posted that anywhere. If I can locate it I’ll stick it on here. I probably should have posted a picture of Marina Sirtis (Deanna Troi) and she most definitely had a curvaceous rear view in a catsuit.
Absolutely I remember that card game, which is odd on two counts. I DID see the Willow-Xander-Anya episode, and I watched the reruns sporadically if at all, and Gwen DIDN’T see it, or hadn’t last time I mentioned it, even though she’s a major Buffy fan. Think she’s still mad at me? We’ll see, I guess. *G* Just BTW, I included several mentions of BTVS in the later ‘Maid’ novels.
On the other hand, did you notice that they almost NEVER showed Sarah Michelle from the back, except when she was fighting, and then you never knew if it was her or her stunt double? Aggravating, that, but they often showed Willow from the correct angle, and red hair aside, she does have a desirable rear aspect.
I suppose it’s too late to lodge our complaints in re the theme song. Well, maybe not. The show is in syndication, and maybe we can recommend a new one be overdubbed – ‘Tocatta and Fugue In D-Minor,’ ‘Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring,’ ‘Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner,’ or ‘Louie, Louie’ for crying out loud, anything but that tripe!
Thanks for weighing in, Herr Professor Doctor.
-Dev
Are you two related and forgot to tell me? :)-
Not by blood as far as I can tell, but I’m pretty sure Dr. Ken knows the secret handshake. *G*
UD
Have Gwen bend over and show her the secret handshake….
This is the second day in a row that I’ve come to this site and not had trouble with it shutting down immediately. I made a setting change–I had been blocking pop-ups from this site, and I changed it to allow pop-ups. Maybe that has something to do with my current on-line success–or maybe it has nothing to do with it. It seems to be working, though, so I’m not going to question it.
Gwen–Season 4 of Buffy is available on DVD. Rent it (or buy it, like I did) and watch the episode, already.
It’s true that they never showed Sarah Michelle much from behind. I always assumed it was because she’s a tiny, skinny thing and didn’t have much of a backside to focus on. (Endart.com used to have a nice illustration of Spike spanking Buffy over her skirt.. I’m not sure if it’s still on his site, though.)
FWIW–favorite Buffy episode: Hush. Probably the vast majority of people say the same thing and I should select something a little less familiar, something more esoteric. But I won’t.
Those were all good theme song choices, btw–especially “Roland”.
Perhaps “My Ride’s Here”? (I briefly considered “Model Citizen” and even toyed with “Leave My Monkey Alone”….)
“Mr. Bad Example” would be more of a comment on how NOT to select a theme song than anything else….
Spanking and Science Fiction–Doctor Who, in it’s entire 33 years, has had no spankings and exactly one threat that I can recall. The very first Doctor, William Hartnell, threatened his grandaughter Susan with a “jolly good smackbottom”. (It’s been a while since I saw the episode, so those may not have been the exact words.) Other than that–nothing.
There was a small “one-whacker” on the short-lived show Firefly. (bringing us back to Joss Whedon). Zoe, played by the lovely Gina Torres, gets a smack on her delectable backside from her husband as they’re going up stairs or a ramp to another part of the ship. Alan Tudyk, who played her husband, said he specifically asked her if he could that, because in the show her character is so strong–she fought alongside the ship’s Captain, Mal Reynolds, in a losing war against the Alliance–that he felt he needed something to make his character seem a bit stronger and show why the two of them are together and stay together.
I think I’ve exhausted my memory now…..
Dr. Ken
‘Have Gwen bend over and show her the secret handshake …. ‘
Uh-huh, THERE’S my proof, Dr. Ken. You two WERE separated a birth!
*G*
xoxo
Dear Gwen,
Maybe this is another example of “twin sons from different mothers”.
Now if I could only find someone to show the secret handshake to…
Dr. Ken
I’m still thinking about putting this thread on as a regular post, but I keep getting sidetracked. There’s definitely a link between the two of us, and I could recommend a couple or three of my former girlfriends in Mpls who knew all about the secret handshake and rather enjoyed it, but probably it would be counterproductive to mention my name or our connection.
I didn’t recognize ANY of those songs you recommended, except ‘My Ride’s Here,’ and I’ve never even heard it. After Warren took the big dirt nap I was too unhappy to buy the album. There’s one on the same album as ‘Roland,’ though, ‘Night Time in the Switching Yard,’ that I always wanted to make a short story out of, except focused on a different kind of switching, but at this point it would border on blasphemy to do so.
The earlier Dr. Who shows were so campy, or perhaps just poorly produced, I could barely stand to watch them, and did so infrequently, but I’ve enjoyed his latest couple of regenerations. ‘Firefly’ is a complete unknown, I’m afraid, but why do I know the name Gina Torres? Maybe I’m thinking of another hot Torres. Oh … did you know Joss Whedon produced “Alien Resurrection”? I didn’t notice until about the third time I saw it. That’s one Ripley incarnation whose heinie I wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot battle lance. Scary!
Thanks for the heads up about the pop-up blocker thing. I passed that info on to Michael, my other separated at birth brother, who hasn’t been able to log on here in weeks. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it won’t, but anyway he’s changing his online configuration so will be back with us soon. He’ll be happy to meet another lodge member.
All for now.
-Dev
You’re talking Star Trek spanking and you left out Charlie X slapping that miniskirted blond Yoman Rand on the behind or Kirk threatening to teach the Dolmen “an old Earth custom called a spanking”? I always liked the miniskirts of the original Trek female crewmembers better than catsuits which are really annoying to me because there’s nothing to flip up or pull down, although Tpol and Seven of Nine clearly were fan service for erotic fanfic writers as well as cool alien characters.
Thanks, Jim, and the two examples certainly are worth mentioning.
But didn’t you know about the mini-forcefield dropseats in those catsuits? You don’t think the girls take the suits all the way off to go the bathroom, do you? One touch, one tug, and there you have it – bare Vulcan or ex-Borg hiney. A marvel of the 23rd (24th?) century.
Sharon Green should also be mentioned in any discussion of Science Fiction spanking because she’s totally brilliant in using sci fi-fantasy freedom to push the boundaries of spanking fantasies into areas that would push too many creepy politically incorrect buttons on neurotics in more restrictive reality show type settings. Reality shows are for idiots with the imagination of turnips who’ve lived such sheltered lives they need to watch television to know what’s real or not. Sci fi is for people who graduate college.