Caught Red-Handed

Jul 12, 2017 by

Something happened to my good friend and sister the other day, and I found it to be so shocking, so thrilling, so delicious . . . I’d better have her tell you what happened in her own words.

Well, since Audrey sort of insisted I share my humiliation, here it is, just as I sent the report to her soon after it happened. Not one of those instances where I needed some attention and provoked you-know-who until he gave it to me. This was a real, true mess, and I still go pink in the cheeks — the ones everyone can see — when I think about it. I think it affected me so strongly because I was trying as hard as could be to make a nice impression on a young lady interested in TTWD who happened to be visiting the area. I wanted her to have some attention all her own while she had the chance, and I fully intended to take a back seat.

Unfortunately, things didn’t go exactly as planned, as I explained in an email to my sister-in-brathood Audrey.

First of all, I just got busted, big time, and it took me so by surprise and embarrassed me so much I almost really cried. I’m sure my face was either dead white or brilliant red.

You know how I struggle with the Diet Coke thing, and I had tried to be so good the past week, but I was out doing my “man on the street” interviews this morning and I was hot and thirsty when I left and I gave in to temptation, went by Dunkin’ Donuts and got a couple and a DC. Came back to work and was happy as a clam, except for that niggling little guilt bug, but I figured he wouldn’t ask (if I had given in to temptation) while Amy was here, and he might forget it by the time she left, and I might deal with my guilt by – I don’t know – having another DC or something equally stupid.

I had picked up my desk phone to call someone when, all of a sudden, I looked up and there were you-know-who and Amy, all smiles, standing in the “door” of my office cubicle. I whirled around to greet them, knowing if I stood up, he would see the DC bottle behind me on the desk, but it got a little awkward, so I tried to turn back around and grab the bottle and scoot it out of sight. Turns out, he hadn’t spotted it while it was on the desk, but he sure did when I tried to hide it.  I couldn’t bear to look at Amy. I closed my eyes and covered my face for what seemed like an eternity, and when I finally opened them, he was standing right over me, just looking down with a glint in his eye.

He was controlled, though. Nothing that would have alerted the average person in the other cubicles in my office. I walked to the door with them and tried to sort of kid my way out of it, and Amy obligingly smiled and whispered that she would try to talk him out of anything too drastic, but I wasn’t even worried about how much it was going to hurt when he got to me; I just felt so totally ashamed, and trying to hide what I had done just made it that much worse.

I’ve never been quite that embarrassed before. It really got to me. Not sure if it was because of Amy seeing the whole thing or my fear that he might very well at least threaten something that someone else in the office would overhear. He was very cool, as it turned out, but there was no mistaking the look in his eye.

Not the first time I’ve been caught, of course, so I’m not sure why this time seemed so much worse.

Gawd – I HATE that paddle.

And I hated it even more when he sent Amy away and had some “private time” with me later in the day, “discussing” my DC transgression and my attempts to hide it. So there you have it — my most embarrassing spanking moment — at least, to this point.


(Audrey again.)  As I listened to the tale of my dear sister’s comeuppance, I was reminded of my own thrilling-yet-terrifying experience being caught red-handed.  But, to be fair (to me), it was all a big misunderstanding.  I wasn’t being naughty — I was being funny.  Honest!  Here, see for yourself (the names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Once upon a time, there was a lovely girl named Aubrey.  Aubrey was silly and mischievous, but she was very free with her words and she had a very strict uncle who forbade vulgarity of any kind.

One day, Aubrey was vacationing at the beach with her friends Emmie and Pamela Ann, and they were rushing to get ready to go out with their dear Uncle Dave.  As usual,  Aubrey had visited and dawdled the morning away and was rushing to take a shower and be ready when Uncle Dave arrived.  Her dear friend Emmie offered to iron her shorts and blouse whist Aubrey did her hair and make up.  Once she was fully coiffed and her face was on, Aubrey came into the living room to see her shorts (which were rather larger than she’d like to admit) spread widely across the back of the couch.  Mortified that her uncle would see this horrid spectacle, Aubrey wheeled on her friend and said, “Do you have to make my shorts look as large as possible, beeyatch?”  Except she didn’t say ‘beeyatch.’  Spinning on her heel for added dramatic effect, Aubrey grabbed her shorts and giggled over her shoulder as she stepped right into a brick wall masquerading as the chest of her very own Uncle Dave, who chose that moment to emerge from the bathroom.

“Why didn’t you tell me HE was here?” Aubrey wailed as she was dragged into the bedroom and thrown across Uncle Dave’s lap while he gave her a very strict lesson in decorum and the art of gracious thanks being offered for kindly acts of service.

Her heart still pounds like a rabbit’s whenever she recalls that first glimpse of his face!

What do you think, sisren?  Do these kinds of stories thrill you?  Are you overcome with tummerflies at the thought of being in your sisters’ shoes?  Do you have a story of your own?  Have you ever been caught red-handed?   Have you learned your lesson? Please share!

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  1. Ang

    Wonderful post, Audrey! :wave:

    I have much sympathy for this sister-in-brathood. I’m sure Amy only wanted to help alleviate some of the embarrassment and totally understood the circumstances. :nod: She probably loves DC too. Maybe she was not so much sent away, but volunteered to leave the scene to give some private time to get the deed done knowing that there was no talking you-know-who out of it. :nonono: That’s what I would have done if I’d been in Amy’s place. :nod:

    I’d also say that Aubrey deserved what she got. Poor Emmie was only trying to help when she was called such a nasty name. :headshake:

    My most embarrassing moment to date is when I was to be :spank: ed for something that happened when I was a teenager. :refuse: Since I am many years of ahead of teenage-hood, it was somewhat embarrassing. :nod:

  2. Linda

    Fun story, Audrey. :yuckitup: :butterfly:

  3. Audrey

    Hi, y’all, and thank you. :wave: I truly feel that humiliation shared is humiliation halved, know what I mean? :nod:

    Ang, I am sure you are right about Amy, and we can all empathize with the miscreant in that scenario. But I think you may be a bit hasty in your denunciation of poor Aubrey. You would have to see her in person. She is a boisterous, bigger-than-life personality, who would never be mean on purpose. Her use of epithets is only for comedic effect. I feel certain Emmie understood there was no ill will. :noidea: It was just that stick in the mud Uncle Dave who was unable to separate the connotation from the denotation, if you get my meaning. :heffalump: Oh well, we don’t have to argue about who deserved what at this stage — the point is, that both of these were heart-stopping instances of coming face to face with your executioner, as it were. :shocked: Aubrey still has a streak of white hair from that day. :phew:

  4. Ang

    Audrey, I’m sure if ever I were to meet Aubrey I would realize that she would never be mean on purpose. :hug: I know that there are always those comedic situations that require a little poetic license. :nod: I’m sure Uncle Dave must understand that. :giggle:

  5. Princess Anastasia

    Good gracious, Audrey,
    What an experience. Bet you think twice before you use that word again. :shock:
    As for your friend and sister, I wonder if she learned her lesson thoroughly that day or has had subsequent sessions with mean Uncle Dave and his :paddle: . Once would certainly have been enough for me to learn my lesson, I can tell you. :nod: :angel:

  6. Audrey

    Hey, Linda, it’s good to see you. Sorry, I neglected to say that earlier. Work Brain and all. :dunno: :smile:

    Aubrey thanks you, Ang. :hug: But I’m sure she’d agree with me that Uncle Dave understands nuffink! :refuse: Especially when it relates to naughty language. :sorry:

    You will have to ask Aubrey if she has mended her ways, Pamela Ann. I am sure I would never be so vulgar. :nonono: Also, I wouldn’t be too sure about that “one spanking does the trick” thing, with you or anyone else around here. :giggle:

  7. Ripley

    Ya know I’ve read here for a while and I still can’t tell if these stories are true or made up, or some sort of combination. Maybe that’s the point? In any case, it was a very interesting story. I can certainly sympathize with the main characters of both stories.

    PS. I don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side here … but sodas of any type are really not good for you. I much prefer beer! 😉

  8. Hi, Ripley! :wave: I understand your confusion. These two incidents occurred in real life, even though, yes, they do read a lot like fiction. :nod: And as to the :beer: preference, I knew you were my sort of person. :wink:

  9. Audrey

    Hi, Ripley! As I was about to say, truth is stranger than fiction and art imitates life. :dance: And yes, Uncle Dev loves beer and hates DC. :cheers: :beer:

  10. Princess Anastasia

    Are you certain you are not Uncle Dev’s alter ego? Or maybe, blood kin?
    If only there were a beer that tasted like DC and had all the benefits of orange juice. I would buy stock …

  11. Ang

    I’ll have to agree with PA here! DC flavored beer… :eyes: :giggle: Since beer is okay and all…

  12. Heaven knows there are plenty of beer brands out there for people who don’t like the taste of beer. One more can’t hurt. :wink:

  13. Ripley

    Devlin – thank you for the clarification!

    Audrey – thanks. Both those sayings make sense don’t they? I wouldn’t say I hate DC. I used to drink it years ago as well as other soda’s. At some point I just stopped drinking them and never looked back. But I do love beer!

    PA – I would guess our love of beer is one of the few (only?) things I have in common with Devlin. LOL

    As for beer flavors, as Devlin mentioned there are a multitude of beer types nowadays so I’m sure there is probably already something out there for PA and Ang!

  14. Jane

    Mmmmmmmm, love it! :hug: I can feel your tummerflies! It’s that face, isn’t it? :worried: Super scary!

    Beautiful prose, as ever, ladies. 👌
    Love yous! X

  15. Audrey

    Yup, little sister, there’s no mistaking that face. :nonono: :butterfly: :butterfly: :runaway:

    And thanks, sweetie! :kiss: :hug: