Spoon River Anthropology

Dec 5, 2017 by

In the comments to this year’s Thanksgiving post, our most dearly beloved cartoon guru, Dave Wolfe, mentioned pictures in circulation of wooden spoons that had “Scoop With This Side/Spank With This Side” notations included.



NEWS FLASH – Errinn found the scooping/spanking picture, so I’ll use it and the first one at the beginning of rather a long spoon-spanking ramble.



Perhaps the least appreciated implement/utensil in a top’s toy bag is the lowly cooking spoon.

Next to Dad/Grampa/Uncle’s belt, the spoon is the best known and most feared of any domestic disciplinary tool.


There are dozens and dozens of apparel designs like the above available, so I have to believe that the spoon’s use for household disciplinary purposes, over time, has been ubiquitous, if not universal.



Of course, that’s because for a long time, Mom’s place was in the kitchen, so a spoon was always handy. Both Dad’s belt and Mom’s spoon, however, have left, and still leave, perhaps, a distinct and indelible impression on a girl’s bottom, as well as on her psyche.

(Here, I am referring to girls who hang out here, the ones who, even if they never felt either implement on their real-life bottoms, know exactly how it feels there, in stereophonic, 4G detail, down to their cores.)

About the above photo, I believe that the person on the receiving end did the fancy artwork as a present to the person who always used it (and maybe uses to this day) on her. That’s the romantic in me.


One thing I will emphasize about moms is that they tend to be way stricter with girls than Daddy ever is, belt notwithstanding, and spoons are formidable devices in a mom’s hand.

I played house with a couple of grownup girls in California a few years ago, and all I had to do was threaten them with a Mommy spanking from our fourth playmate, and they spruced up their attitudes most rikki-tik, you had best believe. Our play Mommy was a switch, and she knew exactly what it took to make a girl squirm, because she knew what it took to make her squirm.


Not that Daddy ever is left entirely out of the frame when it comes to disciplining grownup girls.

The concept of spoon-spanking might have been Mom’s idea, but that two-foot, Tim-the-Toolman model this guy is wielding has to be a special order, if not of his own manufacture. I’ll bet he has three-D diagrams and ft/lbs of torque estimates to go with it.

I say that because only an engineer would wear a red power tie with a short-sleeved shirt. In any event, I would want any edge I could get, too, implement- or otherwise, if my photo-shoot misbehaving-daughter were two inches taller than me and built like an Amazon princess.

On the other hand, sometimes the point is to just hold onto her and smack her with the spoon till she wriggles and both of you smile, which is exactly what is going on here. Even big sister is smiling, although it appears she is sitting on a bare bum that probably looks just like the one currently uppermost. The family that spanks together …

Please note that his arms look like hairy tank guns. Those come in handy for any top, making it easy to leave serious-business marks on a girl’s bottom without his having to try too hard. A few girls I know are cognizant of this fact.

And just because she is so utterly adorable, we will end this spoon ramble with a picture of Amber Pixie Wells’ very cute and seriously spoon-spanked bottom.

Noting her festive garb, what there is of it, one has to wonder if this was shot around Christmas time, and if so, whether she got spanked that hard for refusing to make a figgy pudding because “figgy” sounded way too kinky, until the required task was explained to her to the tune of a —

Well, you know.

That is all.

Devlin out.


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  1. “Spoon River” made me smile, although I can’t bring myself to imagine Audrey Hepburn in that position :thumbdown: however I really like the encouragement that Pixie is receiving to improve her baking in order to qualify for next years “Great British Bake Off” :yuckitup:

  2. Ang

    Spoon? :shock: :nervous:

    I smiled at the Spoon River reference too and now I hear the song. I’ll be singing the traditional song in my head all day now, but with the substitution of the word spoon. I wonder if the people around me will notice the smile? :whistle:

  3. Hi, Chris and Ang! :wave: :wave: Glad you enjoyed the spoon riff! :smile: :smile:

  4. Gary

    Dev, use of one of my favorite words, that being “squirm”, in the same article as a wooden spoon, just makes any spankophiles day. :nod: Only a switch, or perhaps a short whip, could make the same statement.

  5. Audrey

    I couldn’t stop singing the song, either. But my version had to be Chevy Chase’s in the not so great movie Fletch. I believe he broke into that little ditty during a visit to the proctologist. Hilarity ensued. Or didn’t. :rowing: :guitar:

    Once again, Dev, why did it have to be spoons? :weep: :wink: :hug:

  6. Ash and Alder

    Chris, thank you. The Great British Bake Off will never be the same again! :yuckitup: :uk:


  7. Hi, Gary! :wave: Glad you enjoyed this, and yes, “squirm” was the word our Mommy player used when she talked about how she does this thing we do. :nod:

    Hey, Audrey! :wave: I guess if I have to leave an ear worm, this isn’t a bad one. I’m not sure I sat all the way through Fletch, and I don’t recall the scene you mentioned. One of those two might account for the other one. :wink: Anyway, spoons are so handy and just so very effective. :smile:

    Ash, you are so right! :uk: :grin: :jawdrop:

  8. Errinn

    Hello, all. :wave:

    I found the scooping/spanking picture on November 24th. It took less than a minute. I tried again on December 6th. Bing didn’t find it even though I used the same search words. Weird! :dunno: I checked my emails and found a partially written one to Dev with links. Curiosity made me try Google which did produce the s/s picture, the Mom spoon and the yellow background message above. I already had the survivor tee and other merchandise through my first Bing search.

    Here is the scooping/spanking picture in colour:


  9. Errinn

    And, black and white


    I have more spanking spoon pictures. Having to enter a new comment for each link is a pain especially when my computer and/or internet provider leave me doing this :banghead:

    Dev, if you are interested in doing another wooden spoon post in the future, I’ll email the pictures to you, eventually. :nod:

  10. Errinn

    Okay, one more. This looks like a great stocking stuffer and it isn’t a spoon. :stocking: :stocking: :stocking:

    If this link works, you should see two options. The product looks the same to me. The two vary in the description and quantity available. I prefer the Love Token 3-fer description. The other one has additional pictures.


    Finding the US link rather than the Canadian one should have been simple, right. Not for me. I couldn’t get myself on the US site. It wasn’t until I finally landed on the home page and scrolled to the bottom that I found where I could change my preference. I still see shipping to Canada charges. I’d be interested in knowing if the US residents only see US information. I’ll have to console myself for wasting so much time with finding the 2-fer link rather than deciding between two links.

  11. Wow, Errinn! Thanks! I inserted the spoon picture into the post and changed the text to accommodate it. :nod:

    Also love the casino chips. I can’t think of a time I ever used the word “righteous” to apply to a spanking, but it certainly fits! :smile: :spank: :thumbsup: